I agree with nowritinghere wholeheartedly. I have two children of my own and I am also a stepchild. Although I have in common one thing with english_peach, which happens to be not wanting to be a step parent. I have been able to avoid it by not becoming involved with someone with kids. I always figured it was that simple, you know? My tolerance level for other people's children is very, very low that I actually agree with a lot of things that the childfree members express, as sad as that might be.
Perhaps being a rejected stepchild, a lot of what has been said in these posts have reeked of what I experienced as a child that was unwanted by my stepmom, is what compelled me to respond. I guess it makes me sad that someone could be so selfish that they are willing to push away a child just so she could have a man all to herself. I looked at my boys and thought to myself how sad it would be if my BF felt the same way as this one person, how a grown person could feel so threatened by a child. All of the comments I've read have put my ideas into perspective and I've come to the conclusion that Miss english_peach really has some issues that she needs to deal with if she wants her relationship to work successfully, with out manipulation.
No, I'm not going to bash anyone, even though I wanted to in the very beginning. But I really, really hope that anyone that thinks it's ok to manipulate, to push away, to reject a child openly (or privately) because they want to be a partner with the parent of said child that they will step back and look at the damage they will do. Children are a lot more in tune to adults than one might think and I can tell you right now that my stepmother's actions were quite subtle, but I got it. Unfortunately for me and my boys, she got her way. I have only spoken to my father once in seven years and that was because of an accidental bumping into eachother at a local store. I have zero respect for my father and even less than that for her. Perhaps that is something else that should be considered the next time you dread the child visiting, or even when you vent these thoughts as well.
It's just my two cents, and no, I'm not here for a flame war or to troll your forum. I just couldn't remain silent any longer.