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anti_baggage's Journal

Name:
Anti Baggage
Membership:
Open
Posting Access:
All Members , Moderated
Welcome to the Anti-Baggage Community!



Dating someone who has a child? Frustrated? Confused? This community is for men and women who for whatever reason have found themselves falling in love with someone who has kid baggage. This is a safe space to vent your feelings, concerns and frustrations. You will not be judged. No emotion is too extreme.



As we all know, if you decide to date a parent with children, there are some things you have to accept as a reality. It is part of the baggage parents bring with them into the relationship. To begin with, children will want to spend time alone with their parent without your presence. Many times the parent will want to put their children's needs before yours. Standing in the background is a biological mother or father. Also, remember most of the time the children didn't ask you to be there. You are intruding into their world, a place of familiarity and security.

But you don’t have to put up with it.

Just because you love your partner doesn’t mean you have to love his brats. They are NOT your responsibility.



Reasons to be Anti-Baggage:

You don't just get the kid baggage. You get the ex-wife baggage, the custody & access baggage, the child-support baggage, etc. It's just a whole bunch of irritants that'll chew away at your relationship like a cancer.


The kids will always tie him to someone else, even if he hates her.


He may love you, but he also loves his kid(s) and they will always come first.


The kids aren't going anywhere - ever!


Having a child is like throwing a hand grenade into a relationship.





Love Him NOT His Baggage

No crying babies, late-night diaper runs.

Living life just the way you want to.

More time.

More pleasure.

More money.

Freedom to travel.

Freedom to make plans at a moment's notice.

Freedom to take risks.

Barney and The Bear in the Big Blue House who?

No toys to trip over.

Weekends in bed with tea and the New York Times.

Classical music and not Yanni.

Long bubble baths and candles.

Privacy and autonomy.

Committed relationships with no children in the way.

No unsightly child safety locks, car seats, or Big Wheels on the lawn.

Not having to see G-Rated movies (unless you want to).

Not having to hear the same children's videos over and over again.

Not having to spend enormous amounts of money on the latest fad toy.

Never having to speak in that "Mommy" voice or "Daddy" voice.

Never having to learn babytalk.

Never having to say, "Now say you're sorry..."

No protracted custody battles.

Living a sophisticated, mindful life.

Never having to tell "The Birds and Bees Story".

More time to volunteer for good causes.

More time for pets and hobbies.

Naps without interruption.

More time to read and learn.

More time to write and create.





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